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I never knew Dracula was such a captivating story. I was completely hooked from beginning to the end. Bram Stoker sure knew how to set up cliffhangers; there were so many of them that kept me reading and reading! I was completely invested with the characters, loved them or hated them. I wanted to know what happened to them next!
Bram Stoker had got you covered on the male characters front.
You want a tall, dark, rich, handsome lord with arms like Thor but also not afraid to show his sensitive side? And he also had puppies? And he knew how to ride horses and operate steamboats? You got Arthur!
You want a cowboy that had multiple ranches in Texas so he could spend all his time in London? You got Quincey!
You want a doctor that owned his own psychiatric hospital? You got John!
You want a nerdy dork but apparently hid his six-pack abs under all that Victorian clothing? You got Jonathan!
You want a mysteriously man that spoke English with a sexy Eastern European accent and had a castle and loads of money? You got Dracula!
And finally, you want a sophisticated mature man that was both a doctor and a lawyer and drank tea while slaying vampires? You got Van Helsing!
Why hasn't HBO modernized this book? Not shiny vampires, but be faithful to the story with modern background. There's so much sex in between the lines. All of the above male characters had their shirts off at one point or another; completely unnecessary shirt-less scenes but Bram Stoker still wrote them. In addition, the female vampires were always described as voluptuous, hint hint big boobs.
Here are my picks for the characters:
Mina Murray Harker - Karen Gillan
Dr. John Seward - James McAvoy
Quincey - Channing Tatum
Lord Arthur Holmwood - Henry Caville
Van Helsing - Liam Neeson
Renfield - Will Ferrell
HBO, call me!
Oh, and Romania should totally promote its tourism every year during Halloween. Tourists can hike the route taken by Jonathan Harker and get chased by wolves. When they arrive at Dracula's castle, they can enjoy a delicious traditional Romanian feast while being surrounded by handsome and beautiful actors and actresses dressed as vampires.
Romania Tourism Board, call me!